Sanctimony and Shirtless Ed

Did you hear that Zack Greinke hit Carlos Quentin? He did.

Did you hear that Carlos Quentin hit Zack Greinke? That also happened.

Did you see the internet and sports writers overreact a little bit? Nah, that didn’t happen. Never does.

There was a lot of sanctimony, of which I wanted to participate. However, the Quentin/Greinke brawl has been done to death. No, let’s take aim on something a little less recent: the 1984 Padres/Braves brawl.

As he entered the field to warm up, Braves pitcher Pascual Perez warned Padres leadoff hitter Alan Wiggins that he was going to hit him. He did.

Ouch.

Ouch.

A heinous, premeditated act by Perez. If I were to combine my anger with an irrationally large, arbitrarily selected number of games…I would say Perez deserves to be suspended for about 26 days.

In response, Padres starter Ed Whitson throws at Perez in his first at-bat. However, he doesn’t make contact.

Got away from him.

Got away from him.

Whitson was protecting his guy. Not to mention, he actually overheard Perez threaten Wiggins pre-game. Ed had been sitting on this one, he was responding to Perez’s unprovoked attack, and I’m a Padres fan. No suspension, no fine, and an “attaboy!”

Immediately, Perez starts wielding his bat like a weapon. He could have killed somebody! Also, how do we know he’s not high here? He was arrested for cocaine possession during the preceding offseason. Let’s assume he is, just because.

Feel Good Hit Of The Summer?

Feel Good Hit Of The Summer?

Deadly weapon, presumed drug use? Let’s tack a year onto this suspension. Perez Running Tally: 1 year, 26 days.

Perez comes to bat again in the fourth inning, and once again Ed Whitson attempts to hit him. Attempts to.

Hit the showers, Ed

Hit the showers, Ed

This time, Whitson and manager Dick Williams are both ejected. Whitson deserves 3 games for missing Perez twice.

In the 8th inning, Craig Lefferts finally hits Perez. Revenge is ours!

About time, eh?

About time, eh?

Thankfully, we’re getting angry about this game in 2013 and not 1984. Therefore, we can get on our high horses on Twitter and influence others. At this point, I’ve decided that the Padres shouldn’t be throwing baseballs at other human beings, and where I was once rooting for my team, I am now telling you how terrible the whole thing is. Everyone should be embarrassed by this disgusting act. One month for you, Craig Lefferts.

At this point, all hell breaks loose.

Umpire John McSherry cracking skulls.

Umpire John McSherry cracking skulls.

Wait, is that umpire John McSherry in the middle of the dogpile? Ten game suspension for him.

HOLY SHIT, TONY!

HOLY SHIT, TONY!

Tony Gwynn is lifting up and tackling a much larger man, Brad Komminsk. As the story goes, Tony saved Padres pitching coach Norm Sherry from being pummeled by slamming Komminsk to the ground. I’m not sure who to be angry at, so let’s give everyone in the shot at 12 game suspension and a $1 million fine.

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Atlantans had a thing for jumping on the field. One of the enduring images of Henry Aaron breaking Ruth’s record is the two hippies running on the field to celebrate with him. On this day, however, it wasn’t hippies entering the field of play…it was ruthless criminals. These are baseball players!  That is a baseball field! I hope those thugs are still serving time for this incident.

Everyone gets their shit together for a moment, when Donnie Moore hits Graig Nettles (they fought in the previous brawl) and everyone loses said shit once more.

¡Olé!

¡Olé!

Ed Whitson has had enough, however. He hops out of the shower, puts on whatever pair of pants he can find (these belonged to Padres coach Ozzie Virgil), and runs out to teach some lessons.

A San Diego Legend is born

A San Diego Legend is born

Shirtless Ed will not abide Bevacqua being beaten by Braves fans

Shirtless Ed will not abide Bevacqua being beaten by Braves fans

I’ve completely lost track of what to be upset about, now. Fulton County authorities should have airlifted innocents and Shirtless Ed out of the stadium, boarded it up, and made everyone live out their days in the new Atlanta-Fulton County Stadium/Correctional Facility. What a black eye on baseball, right?

Well…maybe not. Let’s watch the video highlights at MLB.com

As you can tell by the dixieland music, MLB views this incident to be about as terrible as the media has treated the Quentin/Greinke incident. Seems a little odd, doesn’t it? It feels weird that we simultaneously glorify brawls of the past (and set them to dixieland music) and wag our finger at one from the present.

Now, let’s get this straight: Carlos Quentin deserves his suspension, and Zack Greinke does not deserve a broken collarbone. However, as Ken Rosenthal documents here, there actually is some background to the incident. Quentin wasn’t thinking rationally, as most of us often aren’t when we make boneheaded decisions. As the Avenger in Chief pointed out, there’s not always a good guy or a bad guy in these incidents. Maybe Greinke’s after him, maybe he isn’t…but Carlos definitely thought he was. We can pick it apart again and again, talk about why it doesn’t make sense to us due to the score and the count, but that’s just the fact of the matter. It’s an unfortunate incident, but (save for Matt Kemp) I think everyone pretty much got the punishment they deserved.

Speaking of suspensions, 5 players and both managers received them for the 1984 brawl. Pascual Perez was not amongst those who were punished, where I specifically requested a 1 year, 26 game suspension.

 

David is a massive hypocrite who loves Shirtless Ed Whitson. His favorite exchange from a Charles Bronson movie is Death Wish II’s “Do you believe in Jesus?” “Yes, I do.” “Well, you’re gonna meet him.” The Vocal Minority posts on Monday. If it’s not me, then it’s Nate. You can follow me on Twitter @VocalMinoritySD, then unfollow a  few days later. You can follow Nate on Twitter, too @The_NV This will be longer than the actual post.

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  • Champ Summers (going into the ATL dugout) is a Vietnam vet. I think that Is so awesome. And Bob Horner should have gotten his ass kicked!

  • shaynes41

    Tony should have gotten a negative suspension for that tackle. Somehow gotten to play an extra game or have a credit towards a future suspension…

  • For some reason I love the fact Perez was still in the game in the 8th. And of course, the Padres kept trying to hit him.