The Bar: What Would You Do For a World Series Win?

This is where we gather from time to time to talk about something big in the Padres world or just the Padres or just baseball. It’s a roundtable discussion. Except, you know, no round tables. This is a Public House…so we’re at the bar.

The list of teams yet to win a World Series is pretty short.  The list of teams to never play in a World Series is even shorter (Hellooo, Washington and Seattle!).  Thank God we’re not a member of that club.  Including the Mariners and Nationals, 8 teams haven’t yet won the big one.  Only the Texas Rangers and us have had more than one shot at the Title.

It’s painful to make it to two World Series and only win one game.  Seeing as, for some, this is the Lenten season and a time for sacrifice, the thought came up on what we might go without if it meant immortal glory for the Swinging Friar.  And so, at The Bar, it was asked:

What Would You Give Up For A Guaranteed World Series Win?


Left Coast Bias

  • Beer for a year
  • Red Meat for a year
  • Shave my head
  • No Mexican food for a year (that’s a tough one)
  • Watch all Twilight movies back-to-back (ed note:  Not really giving up something, but a HECK of a sacrifice if I say so myself.)


Ghost of RAK

  • I would listen to Hacksaw every morning for a year, and never complain.
  • I would eat Burger King for lunch every day for a year.
  • I would renew my subscription to the UT and never complain about Canepa or #SezBill.
  • I would stop referring to Giants fans as “Dickhats.” Forever.

Of course, I’d have to have some sort of guarantee that the Padres were going to win the World Series before I could commit to such extreme measures.

I wouldn’t shave my head. That’s just silly.


Avenging Jack Murphy

A list of things I would sacrifice for a Padres World Series victory? I would begin with the elimination of a nice warm shower one day per week. We’ll go ahead and say Sunday. In place of that shower I would be willing to instead bathe in goat cheese*. In this tub of goat cheese I would begin grooming a mustache** which I would wear for the duration of the season in question. I would then auction all of my brown gear on E-Bay and begin walking in lock-step with the Padres organization: Blue, Dammit!***

* Goat cheese is the most repugnant thing on Earth. Earth!
** Movember is traditionally my most painful month of existence. I could not imagine an entire season of mustache hell.
*** This should be enough shouldn’t it?


Son of a Duck

I’d permanently give up blogging. “Congratulations, the Padres won the World Series. Go out and celebrate, and oh by the way, you can’t write about it. Ever.” That would suck and be awesome at the same time. Mostly it would be awesome, though, because I’ve blogged a lot but never seen the Padres win a World Series.


The Sacrifice Bunt (Ray)

My first thought was actually “nothing.”

I think it speaks to my attitudes towards the team right now that I’m not willing to sacrifice one thing to help them win the World Series. Especially if those swindlers make me pay in advance.


Padres Trail

I’m wary of this.  Remember the MasterCard Red Sox ad following the 2004 World Series?  First bornes and left-nuts are off the table.

  • I’d START going to church regularly.  A Padres World Championship is definite proof God exists.
  • I’d STOP complaining about PETCO being a waste of taxpayer money.

Woe, Doctor!

To me, the level of sacrifice seems dependent on the process that gets them there. If the Padres were to field an entertaining team of homegrown players and veteran talent alike, leading them to regular playoff contention and a World Series title? Well, I think an intelligent approach to building a contender alleviates a lot of cynicism on its own. I suppose I’d retire my skepticism and enjoy watching the results of the process a bit more instead of stressing every detail. I’d probably give up crying (of the sad variety) and bury a few grudges – I’m looking at you, Brady Clark. I think it’s why I preferred watching the Athletics over the Orioles last season, or why Giants fans so readily identify with their team. They seem so at peace with what’s going on.

But say the Padres went for a short-term fix, where it was an all-in approach much like the Marlins under Jeffrey Loria? Flags might fly forever, but they’re the perpetual doormats who sacrificed everything with terrible consequences. I’m not sure I can say I’d give up much of anything for that long-term. I suppose I’d relinquish a bit of the venom and, possibly, not shout drunkenly into the wind during the likely blow back the following season. My sacrifices would be more of a ceasefire than a full-scale disarmament.

Oh, and anyone who says they’d give up beer is lying.


LCB:  Only giving up beer for a year. I’m not an insane person. Plus I have plenty of whiskey, gin, and red wine to get me through my IPA-free year.

AJM: I would not give up beer under any circumstances and I would be perfectly fine with reaping disastrous long-term consequences for the organization to drink beer, which I did not give up, during a World Series victory celebration downtown.


Vocal Minority (David)

I haven’t had alcohol of any sort for nearly 6 months, and sparingly the previous year. I will probably continue that for the next year (or so). The Padres can go ahead and win a World Series, and we’ll call it even.


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  • Yo, goat cheese is amazing.

  • I would name a future puppy or kitten “Tom Garfinkle” for a Padres WS win.

  • SDPads1

    I really wanted to come up with something here. The best I came up with was to give up blogging forever, but GY already said that. I wouldn’t give up beer. I wouldn’t become a sheep and give up brown. Umm, yeah…I’ve got nothing.

    • Psst…If you really believe I would actually subject myself to Hacksaw on a daily basis, there’s no hope for you.

    • Would you allow the Mrs. to turn your Padres memorabilia room into a sewing center?

    • Good for you.

  • Tim Stoops

    I would have to probably give up all of my extraneous spending (jerseys, hats, bobbleheads) because I would buy ANYTHING with Padres World Series Champs on it. I’ve said to friends if the Canucks, Padres, or Chargers ever win it all, I’m going broke.

  • I would start drinking again for a year. How about that?