Some of you may be wondering, “The Padres’ season is over. What the Hell are you going to do now, Ghost? In-depth analysis of Mighty Wings sales? The history of the McNugget?”

To be honest, I wondered the same thing. Quite frankly, I’d love to take a break. But for some reason you people keep coming back. And I don’t want to disappoint any more than I already have.

We have some interesting ideas for the offseason that Padres Public will be rolling out over the course of the next month or so, but I figured I’d start with one of mine right away.

Say hello to the first of many polls to choose the first ever McRib Awards.

Over the course of the next few weeks, I’ll be leaving it up to you, my loyal readers, to select the winners in each category. Then I’ll have one post to announce them all at once. Just like the Academy Awards, but completely different, because the winners get nothing. Nothing at all. Unless you count bragging rights. And who would really brag about this?

Instead of categories like “Best Starter” or “Team MVP,” which every blog, sports website, network, guy/gal on the street, and family pet out there already does, I’m going to throw out some unusual categories. This first one definitely qualifies:

We’re going to pick the best Padres meme of 2013.

The only rules:

  • It had to be a hashtag-able meme. So, Kelly Crull constantly getting drenched with Powerade after walk-off wins doesn’t count.
  • It had to have caught on since the end of the 2012 season. So you will not see #VedderCup#MowMyLawn, #dickhats, or #Dickisms among the nominees.
  • #PPLive was not eligible, obviously. That would be unfair to all the other nominees. Because it’s the greatest hashtag in the history of hashtags!

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In today’s Effectively Wild podcast at Baseball Prospectus, Ben Lindbergh and Sam Miller picked the “perceived clubhouse leaders” for every team in the American and National leagues. They based their decisions on perceptions perpetuated by the media noting that who they perceive to be the leader may not in fact be so.

I’ve transcribed the Padres portion of the podcast and you’ll notice two items that I’ve placed within brackets throughout the dialogue. First you’ll see that I’ve attempted to convey the speaker’s emotion/mental state while they are speaking. I feel like I’ve been accurate but of course this is all subjective so when you listen to the podcast you’ll have to make your own judgements. Secondly, within another set of brackets you will see that I have denoted when there is laughter during the dialogue. These brackets read as: [audible laughter].

You’re probably thinking, Is there any other kind of laughter than the audible kind?, and the answer to that question is actually yes. People frequently say things to me that are pointed and terribly clever but I do not laugh. Instead I say to them, “That was funny.” I can’t explain it really. There are things that I find “haha” funny and things that are “Ah, that was very clever, but I’m not going to vocalize my laughter. However, know that I appreciate your humor and I’m genuinely laughing on the inside,” funny.

For the sake of the dialogue between Ben and Sam know that they found the subject of Mark Kotsay to be “haha” funny.

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