“We’re going to have to stay late again. Of course you know, we have pizza because they deliver. We can get fried chicken, hamburgers with cheese. We’ll need donations. No, really, you owe me money anyway. You don’t deserve the grades you’re getting.”
Jaime Escalante, Stand and Deliver

billcenter_t120In yesterday’s UT San Diego, soon-to-retire Padres beat writer Bill Center graded the 2013 San Diego Padres.

Let’s have a look at his grades, and whether or not I agree with them.

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Since no one else wants to do this, I guess I’ll keep going. This week Sez Bill talks roster moves, front office changes, and rants. Lots and lots of rants.

All the quotes are in their original form. Nothing has been corrected, added, or otherwise modified (despite the Chrome browser telling me to correct ALL the spelling errors). My commentary is in italics.

Enjoy!

Well, maybe enjoy is the wrong word…

Tolerate!

billcenter_t120

*****

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There will be no scenarios featuring the Aztec god of war and sacrifice, Huitzilopochtli. In an effort to purify the corrupt souls of San Diego’s ball players I will not introduce Tlaloc, Aztec god of rain and water. The Gate Keeper of Gozer? She will not be featured either.

No cleverness today. I just have a question and perhaps you can help me find the answer.

Yesterday, we discussed expectations of the media and what constitutes fair criticism of them. At the risk of beating a dead horse I must present to you a quote analyzed here at Padres Public last week. It has bearing on our discussion today.

On February 11th, the U-T’s Nick Canepa wrote:

“But doing most of the damage is Yasmani Grandal, who after coming on strong at the end of the year seemed set to be the team’s starting catcher for years. But he got himself busted for taking PEDs and will miss the first 50 games of the season, and that’s if the organization takes him back at all, which it shouldn’t because he absolutely screwed this team [emphasis, mine].

We are each entitled to our own opinion. If Nick Canepa wants to elevate the standards by which we judge athletes then more power to him. To hold all to higher ethical standards is a laudable cause.

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From April of 2005 until November of 2008 there existed a blog called Fire Joe Morgan. The writers at FJM were funny (some would eventually write for NBC’s The Office and Parks and Recreation), insightful, and statistically inclined. They were progressive baseball fans.

The title of their blog was a reference to the eponymous Hall of Fame 2nd baseman whose retirement consisted of a career as a play-by-play analyst for ESPN. Joe Morgan drew the ire of FJM’s writers because of his outdated thinking and refusal to accept that there were new, exciting, and transformative ways to view the game of baseball. He also thought Billy Beane wrote the book Moneyball. And if nothing else, Joe Morgan hated Moneyball. Even though he had never read Moneyball. Which, again, Billy Beane did not write. FJM wasn’t just about Joe Morgan though. It was about all crappy efforts put forth by those who cover baseball.

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The U-T’s Nick Canepa is an Aztec – a graduate of San Diego State University. Nick Canepa, the Aztec, believes that suspended catcher Yasmani Grandal should be removed from the Padres organization. Below is an account from my mind.

Huitzilopochtli (Nick Canepa), Aztec god of war and human sacrifice, demands the blood of Padres catcher Yasmani Grandal.

Huitzilopochtli (Nick Canepa) demanded on November 15th 2012, that the blood debt be repaid by the 24 year-old catcher. But the blood was not forthcoming.

Huitzilopochtli (Nick Canepa) has not been this offended since he was forced to kill his sister upon entrance into this world. Emerging from his mother’s womb as s a full fledged warrior, Huitzilopochtli (Nick Canepa) cut off his sister’s head and threw it into the sky. Her head provides the light for mankind, manifested in what we know to be the moon. This light will cease if the blood of Grandal is not presented to Huitzilopochtli (Nick Canepa).

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