"<strongMatt Kemp, the new Padres right fielder, was acquired this offseason by GM A.J. Preller after much wheeling, dealing, and laptop shopping.

Inspired by a new Friarwire feature by Bill Center, here are 10 things you probably didn’t know about Kemp. And you didn’t know them because they are totally not true. I completely made them up. If you believe that they could be true facts, that’s your problem. Because as far as I know — I did not do any research — they are not remotely true in the least.

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