David Lee Owen, portraying as Santa Claus, throws out the ceremonial first pitch before a baseball game between the Florida Marlins and the Philadelphia Phillies, Friday, July 18, 2008, at Dolphin Stadium in Miami. The Marlins were celebrating "Christmas in July." (AP Photo/Wilfredo Lee)

(AP Photo/Wilfredo Lee)

The holiday season. A season of kindness. A season of giving.

A season of endless Star Shower Laser Light commercials.

It’s been 4 years since I first wrote lyrics parodying the song The 12 Days of Christmas. Then, 2 years later, I rewrote and updated it. And it’s popularity with you, the adoring public, has brought it back yet again.

This year, I made it a wish list. None of this stuff has happened…yet.

As always, my heartfelt apologies to Weird Al Yankovic and Bob Rivers, who both do this sort of stuff better than I ever could.

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santa-throwing-a-baseball-2194be663decf570The holiday season. A season of kindness. A season of giving.

A season of endless car maker and jewelry store commercials.

It’s been two years since I first put lyrics parodying the song The 12 Days of Christmas out. Who knew it would be so popular two years later?

So popular that it took me two years to remember that I did it. And so popular that most, if not all, of you don’t remember it at all.

It seems the perfect time to revisit those lyrics, updating them to fit this current Padres team.

Apologies to Weird Al Yankovic and Bob Rivers, who both do this sort of stuff better than I ever could.

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It’s Christmas time. And I’ve got a special gift for all Padres fans.

Well, maybe not all that special.

In the storied tradition* of coming up with alternate lyrics for classic songs, I give you what is sure to become a Christmas classic for all Padres fans.

Enjoy.

*Can I really call it a tradition if I’ve only done it once before? Screw it. I’m going with tradition.

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