Vinnie Vincent Invasion was an ’80s hair band led by a former KISS guitarist named, as fate would have it, Vinnie Vincent. I’ve mentioned this before, but I once saw them open for Iron Maiden at Long Beach Arena. Pink amplifiers everywhere.

I’m still traumatized, thanks for asking.

Nick Vincent, on the other hand, is a reliever for the Padres. He traumatizes right-handed batters.

We’ll save the how and why for some other day. For now, let’s all revel in the glory that is Vincent. Here are pitchers with the lowest opponent OPS by right-handed hitters over 2013-2014, minimum 200 plate appearances (thanks, as always, to Baseball-Reference’s Play Index):

Player PA BA OBP SLG BB K
Craig Kimbrel 237 .125 .226 .188 24 87
Nick Vincent 231 .162 .199 .227 8 78
Greg Holland 217 .164 .218 .224 14 95
Jeurys Familia 203 .155 .251 .207 22 60
José Fernández 419 .163 .212 .258 22 135

First off, Fernández is a freak, or at least was before his injury. For baseball’s sake, here’s hoping he gets well soon.

Second, Vincent is sandwiched between two elite closers. It sort of makes you wonder if he might also be closer material. I mean, really, what’s the difference between Kimbrel, Vincent, and Holland?

Hint: here’s how those guys have fared against left-handed batters over the last two years:

Player PA BA OBP SLG BB K
Craig Kimbrel 265 .180 .255 .247 22 106
Nick Vincent 164 .288 .358 .445 14 33
Greg Holland 278 .175 .245 .258 24 98
Jeurys Familia 171 .295 .379 .450 19 21
José Fernández 467 .202 .289 .286 49 122

Turns out, the trick to being an elite closer is to dominate everyone. Who knew?

Cold shower time. Here’s a group of Vincent’s peers against lefties over 2013-2014 (minimum 150 plate appearances):

Player PA BA OBP SLG BB K
Scott Baker 194 .253 .294 .505 11 38
Seth Maness 194 .298 .345 .455 13 18
Nick Vincent 164 .288 .358 .445 14 33
Jerome Williams 669 .285 .350 .454 60 102
Ricky Nolasco 804 .291 .348 .455 58 133

Fortunately 56 percent of plate appearances in 2013-2014 were by guys batting right-handed. So in Vincent’s case, you end up with someone who pitches like:

  • Kimbrel/Holland 56 percent of the time
  • Maness/Williams 44 percent of the time

Out of an 18th-round draft pick? I’ll take that any day. Beats a stack of pink amps, anyway.

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  • Not a single mention of where Nick Vincent grew up?