New Year’s Resolutions

It’s the last day of 2013.  Tonight, many of you will head out for one final night of debauchery because why the hell not?  The rest of us will be making Resolutions for 2014 while quietly sipping champagne, reveling in the relative silence of a home with all adolescents asleep.

At least until the gunfire starts.

I’m sure several members of our local nine are making resolutions of their own.  I wonder what they could be?

  • Josh Byrnes will drink the coffee.  No matter how bitter.
  • Bud Black will stop bunting.  Unless it’s after the seventh inning in a one-run game.  Or the pitcher is coming up.  Or it’s a day ending in a ‘y’.
  • Andrew Cashner will insist on the camouflage uniforms for every start.  #DressTheDeer
  • Yonder Alonso will play second base at least one more time.
  • Yasmani Grandal will remember how to hit.
  • Everth Cabrera has no resolution to make. He’s already clean.
  • Chase Headley shaves his beard in a reverse-Sampson move to rediscover his power stroke.
  • Eric Stults will crack 88 on the radar gun.
  • Josh Johnson will build a Jobu shrine in his locker, and make 25 starts in 2014.
  • Chris Denorfia will settle the #Norf/Deno debate by asking everyone to call him ‘Tony’.

All kidding aside, the 2014 Padres will be better than the 2013 variety.  And we’ll be there, to discuss it with you all along the way.  Thanks for reading, all year long.

I can make it now the pain is gone/All of the bad feelings have disappeared/Here is the rainbow I’ve been praying for/Gonna be a bright, bright sunshinin’ day

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