Haikuarrhea: Week 24 in Padres Baseball

In an effort to stay close to our roots, the staff at Padres Public, will offer-up a haiku each Monday to describe the previous week in Padres Baseball. Restricting our feelings to 3 lines and 17 syllables to describe a week of play is a massive undertaking, but (un) fortunately, we are more than up to the task.

The Padres are 68-80 and just finished the week with a 3-3 record on an East Coast swing through Philadelphia and Atlanta. It doesn’t sound too impressive but, as is often the case with baseball, we must dig beneath the surface to find the discarded bodies of Hank Schrader and Steve Gomez. Or something like that.

Andrew Cashner and Burch Smith had fantastic starts, Chase Headley remembered how to hit, and a young fella named Tommy Medica looked alright swinging the bat. Not bad news as we head towards 2014.

Let’s haiku . . .

Son of a Duck

Gyorko drew a walk.

Then he drew another one.

What’s the deal with that?

The Sacrifice Bunt (Melvin)

Burch Smith dominates

Medica punishes balls

Where is Dean Anna?

Vocal Minority (Nate)

Headley homers thrice

He’s gonna be great next year

Lock him up, Byrnesie

Avenging Jack Murphy

My genuine sense

Is that Chase is a good dude

Really stoked for him

Ghost of Ray Kroc

Phanatic antics.

For once, Mud got to let loose.

Dick was not amused.

Vocal Minority (David)

Three Headley homers

Injuries affect players

Below Average



Have a haiku? Go ahead and get it off your chest in the comments. Why haiku? Read this.

I contribute to Padres Public on Thursday mornings and when I’m feeling particularly inspired. I can also be found on twitter at @AvengingJM. The dusty archives of AJM are located at avengingjm.blogspot.com

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  • USMC53

    Rotation looks strong.
    Ross roughed up in Philly, but
    He’ll bounce back, I’m sure.

    Stauffer, Vincent, then
    Thayer, Gregerson, and Street.
    Nice ‘pen foundation.

    Offense, get healthy
    during the offseason please!!
    Contend in ’14.

    Tommy Medica,
    Great first week; can you play “D”?
    Fill our power gap.

    Smith, Erlin, Wisler:
    Door is open in ’14
    to seize Big Club spot.

    Luebke and Wieland,
    Pad’ fans are pulling for you.
    Get well soon, come pitch.
    Mike Dee, dump Enberg.
    Doesn’t even know Pads’ names,
    or basic baseball.
    Extend Chase Headley.
    Great third base defense, and we
    need stability.
    Padres in ’14:
    Decent starters and bullpen.
    Offense TBD.

    • This is a thoroughly impressive collection of haiku poems. Please return in Week 25!

  • USMC53

    I criticized Byrnes
    for the Cashner-Rizzo trade.
    That’s why I’m on couch.

  • SDPads1

    Thanks for spoiling Breaking Bad…jerk.