Haiku-arrhea: Week 6 in Padres Baseball

In an effort to stay close to our roots, the staff at Padres Public, will offer-up a haiku each Monday to describe the previous week in Padres Baseball. Restricting our feelings to 3 lines and 17 syllables to describe a week of play is a massive undertaking, but (un) fortunately, we are more than up to the task.

At the beginning of last week Padres fans were cautiously optimistic as the team crept higher in the rankings, and settled in at 13-18. Then the team went all crazy like Clarence Worley in Drexl’s drug/whore-house and swept the visiting Miami Marlins to get to within two games of .500 (16-18). With fan interest piqued the Padres traveled to St. Petersburg, FL where they were swept by the Rays in mostly heartbreaking fashion. It was brutal. If you care, that is.

A tale of two sweeps during the week that was. Interestingly, each game featured a team from Florida where attendance was visibly low for the home team. Wait, that’s not interesting. That’s sad.

After three consecutive losses to the AL East Rays, the Padres find themselves in Baltimore, Maryland to face the Orioles in a two game series beginning on Tuesday. After the short set in Baltimore, the Padres return home to face the Nationals in a four game series. Ewwwwwww . . . this week is gonna be tough.

The Padres are 16-21. Let’s haiku.

Ghost of Ray Kroc

Damn you, Tampa Bay

Strikeouts galore for Padres

Someone hit the ball.

Vocal Minority (David)

Cashner went fishing

He didn’t fillet himself

I guess that’s a win

Avenging Jack Murphy


Beers, Bar-B-Que, and Burch Smith

Some first inning, eh?

Vocal Minority (Nate)

We’re going streaking!

Get me off this coaster ride

I think I might spew

The Sacrifice Bunt (Melvin)

Goldschmidt picked by Byrnes

He’s off to a lovely start

Damn, so is Rizzo

Left Coast Bias

3 late leads, 3 Ls

Still better than the Dodgers

It’s the little things

This week we also bring you two reader submissions. Both @Taterz1021 (Nate) and @padreshaiku are active Padres fans on twitter and worth a follow. What did they think of the week that was?


Have a haiku? Go ahead and get it off your chest in the comments. Why haiku? Read this.

I contribute to Padres Public on Thursday mornings and when I’m feeling particularly inspired. I can also be found on twitter at @AvengingJM where I pine for youth over re-treads, 7 days a week.

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