Haiku-arrhea: Week 5 in Padres Baseball

In an effort to  stay close to our roots, the staff at Padres Public, will offer-up a haiku each Monday to describe the previous week in Padres Baseball. Restricting our feelings to 3 lines and 17 syllables to describe a week of play is a massive undertaking, but (un) fortunately, we are more than up to the task.

At the beginning of the week the 9-15 Padres traveled to Chicago to battle the 9-15 Cubs. It was an excellent opportunity for either club to begin climbing out of their division’s respective cellar. So what did they do? They split the series, two games a piece. Since the Padres were on the road, I guess .500 baseball would be considered spectacular.

The Padres returned home and took 2 out of 3 against the Arizona Diamondbacks to finish the week with 4 wins and 3 losses (13-18). While the Padres were taking the long circuitous route back to quasi-respectability*, the Los Angeles Dodgers were headed the other direction as noted by the U-T’s Bill Center:

This makes me feel good. I’m a jerk, sue me!

*Quasi-respectability, loosely defined, is a record that hovers between a .480 and .520 winning percentage. These teams experience moments of glory and then quickly drop 5 games in-a-row before making a rebound. I’ve just made this up. Does it work?

On to the haiku!

Vocal Minority (Nate)

Don’t boo the good guys

Sure he stinks now but so what?

I still <3 Heath Bell

Ghost of Ray Kroc

Split in Chicago

Arizona series won

Richard really sucked

Son of a Duck

Beerfest was awesome

Well, I think it was awesome

Yeah, let’s stick with that

Avenging Jack Murphy

Cashner faced Rizzo

And Ron Fowler met the press

Not much was resolved

Left Coast Bias

Off Field Distractions

On Field Starting to Look Good

Keep Quiet Fowler

Vocal Minority (David)

Well, we Norfed The Deer

Or was it dressing the Norf?

Wasn’t at Beerfest.

RJ’s Fro (Rick)

13 and 18

Almost the same as the Duds

Isn’t that crazy?



Have a haiku? Go ahead and get it off your chest in the comments. Why haiku? Read this.

I contribute to Padres Public on Thursday mornings and when I’m feeling particularly inspired. I can also be found on twitter at @AvengingJM where I try to drop less f-bombs 7 days a week.

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