Haiku-arrhea: Week 2 in Padres Baseball

In an effort to  stay close to our roots, the staff at Padres Public, will offer up a haiku each Monday to describe the previous week in Padres Baseball. Restricting our feelings to 3 lines and 17 syllables to describe a week of play is a massive undertaking, but (un) fortunately, we are more than up to the task.

The Padres started the week with a bang when they scored 9 runs* and defeated the Dodgers in the home opener. But unfortunately they still had 5 games to play and they dropped them all.You know what consecutive 1-5 weeks will get ya? Besides fan angst? It’ll get ya sole possession of the NL West cellar. Again.

*The Padres averaged 5 runs per game! That’s good, right? And no broken collarbones!

After finishing the week 1-5 and in last place in the NL West again the following haiku were submitted:

RJ’s Fro (Rick)

They are 2 and 10

We’re in for a long season

At least Chase is back

Vocal Minority (David)

Pitchers pinch hitting

Colorado sweeps again

Yonder at second

Avenging Jack Murphy

Greinke is emo

I’m THE insensitive jerk

Whatevs. Team Quentin!

The Sacrifice Bunt (Melvin)

I’d say they should spend

Big on draft and amateurs

But they can’t. Thanks, Bud.

Padres Trail

Quentin smashed Grienke

Worst record in baseball now

It’s still early right?

Ghost of Ray Kroc

Good start is key

For God’s sake, don’t sh*t the bed

2 and 10? Too late

Left Coast Bias

Can’t hit, pitch, or field

Chase’s return not enough

At least there’s Sculpin


Have a haiku? Go ahead and get it off your chest in the comments. Why haiku? Read this.


I contribute to Padres Public on Thursday mornings and when I’m feeling particularly inspired. I can also be found on twitter at @AvengingJM where I offer thoughts on the merits of Natalie Portman shaving her head in V for Vendetta 7 days a week.

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