After this season, the AAA Tucson Padres are no more.
— Notskiguy (@Notskiguy) June 20, 2013
Quite frankly, the choices leave much to be desired.
.@PadresKnowBest What? "El Paso Padres Public" isn't a choice?
— PadresPublic (@PadresPublic) June 20, 2013
Some of you may not know where the nicknames come from, so I went on Wikipedia and pulled up the basic definition for, well, most of them…
The aardvark (/ˈɑːrd.vɑːrk/ ard-vark, Orycteropus afer) is a medium-sized, burrowing, nocturnal mammal native to Africa.
Really? An aardvark? Really?
Buckaroo, a cowboy of the Great Basin and California region of the United States, from an Anglicization of the Spanish word vaquero.
Normally, I’d say this. What with the whole Pecos Bill tall tale and all.
The Chihuahua i/tʃɪˈwɑːwɑː/ (Spanish: chihuahueño) is the smallest breed of dog and is named for the state of Chihuahua in Mexico. Chihuahuas come in a wide variety of sizes, head shapes, colors, and coat lengths.
My choice, by a large margin, just for the comedic possibilities. Plus, given that the Padres play in Petco Park, there has to be some kind of tie-in to the parent club that they can take advantage of right away.
And neither of those make any sense. Neither does a desert alligator, given that everyone knows alligators are aquatic reptiles native to the Gulf region.
A sun dog or sundog, scientific name parhelion (plural parhelia) from Greek παρήλιον (parēlion), meaning “beside the sun”; from παρά (para), meaning “beside”, and ἥλιος (helios), meaning “sun”, also called a mock sun or a phantom sun, is an atmospheric phenomenon that creates bright spots of light in the sky, often on a luminous ring or halo on either side of the sun.
This surprised me. I thought for sure it was some kind of ancient Aztec myth in the mold of Cerberus. THAT would have been cool! Who knows? That might be what they go for if Sun Dogs wins.
So, what would you like to see the new AAA team nicknamed? I urge you to vote at the official poll, but also go ahead and vote here as well.
I’ve included a couple of ideas that the El Paso people apparently never considered. Beats me why they didn’t.
Have another idea? Put it in the comments so we can all laugh at you for coming up with such a moronic idea.
Follow me on Twitter at @GhostofRAK. I usually “write…on the internet” on Wednesday mornings, but you people get a treat this week.