After this season, the AAA Tucson Padres are no more.

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In 2014, the team is moving to El Paso, TX. Earlier today, Padres Public received a tweet from @PadresKnowBest informing us that there is an online vote for the new team’s nickname.

Quite frankly, the choices leave much to be desired.

Some of you may not know where the nicknames come from, so I went on Wikipedia and pulled up the basic definition for, well, most of them…

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Aardvarks

The aardvark (/ˈɑːrd.vɑːrk/ ard-vark, Orycteropus afer) is a medium-sized, burrowing, nocturnal mammal native to Africa.

Really? An aardvark? Really?

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Buckaroos

Buckaroo, a cowboy of the Great Basin and California region of the United States, from an Anglicization of the Spanish word vaquero.

Normally, I’d say this. What with the whole Pecos Bill tall tale and all.

PecosBill00b

Chihuahuas

The Chihuahua i/tʃɪˈwɑːwɑː/ (Spanish: chihuahueño) is the smallest breed of dog and is named for the state of Chihuahua in Mexico. Chihuahuas come in a wide variety of sizes, head shapes, colors, and coat lengths.

My choice, by a large margin, just for the comedic possibilities. Plus, given that the Padres play in Petco Park, there has to be some kind of tie-in to the parent club that they can take advantage of right away.

C5

Desert Gators

The only thing I could find on the interwebs was a radio controlled car named the Desert Gator and an alumni association for Arizona residents who graduated from the University of Florida.

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And neither of those make any sense. Neither does a desert alligator, given that everyone knows alligators are aquatic reptiles native to the Gulf region.

UPDATE: Jason Green, who lives in El Paso and writes The Niños of the Padres, has discovered why this is even an choice. Given these new revelations, I still like Chihuahuas.

Sun Dogs

A sun dog or sundog, scientific name parhelion (plural parhelia) from Greek παρήλιον (parēlion), meaning “beside the sun”; from παρά (para), meaning “beside”, and ἥλιος (helios), meaning “sun”, also called a mock sun or a phantom sun, is an atmospheric phenomenon that creates bright spots of light in the sky, often on a luminous ring or halo on either side of the sun.

This surprised me. I thought for sure it was some kind of ancient Aztec myth in the mold of Cerberus. THAT would have been cool! Who knows? That might be what they go for if Sun Dogs wins.

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So, what would you like to see the new AAA team nicknamed? I urge you to vote at the official poll, but also go ahead and vote here as well.

I’ve included a couple of ideas that the El Paso people apparently never considered. Beats me why they didn’t.

Have another idea? Put it in the comments so we can all laugh at you for coming up with such a moronic idea.

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Follow me on Twitter at @GhostofRAK. I usually “write…on the internet” on Wednesday mornings, but you people get a treat this week.

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  • http://padrespublic.com/ AvengingJackMurphy

    I like the juxtaposition of Diablos with Padres so I voted for that. Officially I guess I’ll vote for Chihguahas because it’s tough to spell.

  • VM David

    Buckaroos or FUCK YOU! Or whatever.

  • Geoff Hancock

    El Paso Breakfast Tacos. Done. Next problem.

    • VM David

      It blends playing in a border town with the parent club residing in a breakfast town. Genius.

      • http://padrespublic.com/ AvengingJackMurphy

        Tom Garfinkel could make this happen.

  • SDPads1

    It’s between Buckaroos and Chihuahuas, with the slight nod to Chihuahuas due to AJM being unable to spell it.

  • Axion

    A Vote) “A Mexican Girl”

    B Vote) Salsas. People like to say “salsa.”

    • http://www.ghostofrak.com/ GhostofRAK

      I’m just waiting for someone to ask “Why ‘Salsas’?”

    • Lonnie Brownell

      A Mexican Girl, like from the song El Paso? Nice.

      Was thinking the Robbins. Or the Marty Robbins. Robbinses.

      And they could play El Paso for every win. Can anyway, except the guy dies. Maybe for every loss.

  • Lance N Fogel

    What about the El Paso “Ghost Peppers”?

  • http://www.ghostofrak.com/ GhostofRAK

    UPDATED with why Desert Gators is a choice.

  • http://padrespublic.com/woe-doctor/ Bryant

    El Paso Escondido Friars.

    • http://www.ghostofrak.com/ GhostofRAK

      The poll is closed. We have a winner.

  • Geoff Hancock

    This whole experience has really shown me that I know next to nothing about El Paso.

  • ballybunion

    Actually, aardvarks was a mistake. It was supposed to be armadillos, but the exchange student doing the typing never heard of armadillos so he typed aardvarks instead. I would have voted for armadillos. I think it’s some kind of cigar. Too bad you wouldn’t be able to smoke them in the new stadium.

    • http://padrespublic.com/ AvengingJackMurphy

      This sounds plausible.

  • kevintheomanharris

    I like “Friars”. We’d have the Padres, Friars, and Missions. It would be awesome.

  • padresfansince1969

    I support Jason Green’s analysis … just voted for Desert Gators … thanks for linking to Jason’s blog!