The Padres 12 Days of Christmas: The War On Xmas

David Lee Owen, portraying as Santa Claus, throws out the ceremonial first pitch before a baseball game between the Florida Marlins and the Philadelphia Phillies, Friday, July 18, 2008, at Dolphin Stadium in Miami. The Marlins were celebrating "Christmas in July." (AP Photo/Wilfredo Lee)

(AP Photo/Wilfredo Lee)

The holiday season. A season of kindness. A season of giving.

A season of endless Star Shower Laser Light commercials.

It’s been 4 years since I first wrote lyrics parodying the song The 12 Days of Christmas. Then, 2 years later, I rewrote and updated it. And it’s popularity with you, the adoring public, has brought it back yet again.

This year, I made it a wish list. None of this stuff has happened…yet.

As always, my heartfelt apologies to Weird Al Yankovic and Bob Rivers, who both do this sort of stuff better than I ever could.


On the first day of Christmas
The Padres gave to me:
They brought back Jake Peavy

On the second day of Christmas
The Padres gave to me:
Two All-Star Game selections
And they brought back Jake Peavy

On the third day of Christmas
The Padres gave to me:
Three bobblehead giveaways
Two All-Star Game selections
And they brought back Jake Peavy

On the fourth day of Christmas
The Padres gave to me:
Four white quesos
Three bobblehead giveaways
Two All-Star Game selections
And they brought back Jake Peavy

On the fifth day of Christmas
The Padres gave to me
FIVE DIFFERENT THIRD BASEMEN!
Four white quesos
Three bobblehead giveaways
Two All-Star Game selections
And they brought back Jake Peavy

On the sixth day of Christmas
The Padres gave to me:
Six unretired
FIVE DIFFERENT THIRD BASEMEN!
Four white quesos
Three bobblehead giveaways
Two All-Star Game selections
And they brought back Jake Peavy

On the seventh day of Christmas
The Padres gave to me:
Seven presented by Sony
Six unretired
FIVE DIFFERENT THIRD BASEMEN!
Four white quesos
Three bobblehead giveaways
Two All-Star Game selections
And they brought back Jake Peavy

On the eighth day of Christmas
The Padres gave to me:
Eight sets of uniforms
Seven presented by Sony
Six unretired
FIVE DIFFERENT THIRD BASEMEN!
Four white quesos
Three bobblehead giveaways
Two All-Star Game selections
And they brought back Jake Peavy

On the ninth day of Christmas
The Padres gave to me:
Nine dollar .394 San Diego Pale Ales
Eight sets of uniforms
Seven presented by Sony
Six unretired
FIVE DIFFERENT THIRD BASEMEN!
Four white quesos
Three bobblehead giveaways
Two All-Star Game selections
And they brought back Jake Peavy

On the tenth day of Christmas
The Padres gave to me:
Ten Luigis lurking
Nine dollar .394 San Diego Pale Ales
Eight sets of uniforms
Seven presented by Sony
Six unretired
FIVE DIFFERENT THIRD BASEMEN!
Four white quesos
Three bobblehead giveaways
Two All-Star Game selections
And they brought back Jake Peavy

On the eleventh day of Christmas
The Padres gave to me:
Eleven Top Gun in-game references
Ten Luigis lurking
Nine dollar .394 San Diego Pale Ales
Eight sets of uniforms
Seven presented by Sony
Six unretired
FIVE DIFFERENT THIRD BASEMEN!
Four white quesos
Three bobblehead giveaways
Two All-Star Game selections
And they brought back Jake Peavy

On the twelfth day of Christmas
The Padres gave to me:
Twelve unfounded Hot Stove rumors
Eleven Top Gun in-game references
Ten Luigis lurking
Nine dollar .394 San Diego Pale Ales
Eight sets of uniforms
Seven presented by Sony
Six unretired
FIVE DIFFERENT THIRD BASEMEN!
Four white quesos
Three bobblehead giveaways
Two All-Star Game selections

And they brought back Jake Peavy


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  • ballybunion

    So this is the final post of Padres Public. How sad.