The Padres 12 Days of Christmas Redux

santa-throwing-a-baseball-2194be663decf570The holiday season. A season of kindness. A season of giving.

A season of endless car maker and jewelry store commercials.

It’s been two years since I first put lyrics parodying the song The 12 Days of Christmas out. Who knew it would be so popular two years later?

So popular that it took me two years to remember that I did it. And so popular that most, if not all, of you don’t remember it at all.

It seems the perfect time to revisit those lyrics, updating them to fit this current Padres team.

Apologies to Weird Al Yankovic and Bob Rivers, who both do this sort of stuff better than I ever could.


On the first day of Christmas
The Padres gave to me:
An Opening Day shortstop not named Alexi

On the second day of Christmas
The Padres gave to me:
Two All-Star Game selections
And a shortstop not named Alexi

On the third day of Christmas
The Padres gave to me:
Three bobblehead giveaways
Two All-Star Game selections
And an Opening Day shortstop not named Alexi

On the fourth day of Christmas
The Padres gave to me:
Four runs scored a game
Three bobblehead giveaways
Two All-Star Game selections
And an Opening Day shortstop not named Alexi

On the fifth day of Christmas
The Padres gave to me
ALL THE RULE 5 DRAFTEES!
Four runs scored a game
Three bobblehead giveaways
Two All-Star Game selections
And an Opening Day shortstop not named Alexi

On the sixth day of Christmas
The Padres gave to me:
Six taken off of the Batter’s Eye
ALL THE RULE 5 DRAFTEES!
Four runs scored a game
Three bobblehead giveaways
Two All-Star Game selections
And an Opening Day shortstop not named Alexi

On the seventh day of Christmas
The Padres gave to me:
Seven batters not bunting
Six taken off of the Batter’s Eye
ALL THE RULE 5 DRAFTEES!
Four runs scored a game
Three bobblehead giveaways
Two All-Star Game selections
And an Opening Day shortstop not named Alexi

On the eighth day of Christmas
The Padres gave to me:
Eight dollar Mission Brewery Hard Root Beers
Seven batters not bunting
Six taken off of the Batter’s Eye
ALL THE RULE 5 DRAFTEES!
Four runs scored a game
Three bobblehead giveaways
Two All-Star Game selections
And an Opening Day shortstop not named Alexi

On the ninth day of Christmas
The Padres gave to me:
Nine Padres on the field not making errors
Eight dollar Mission Brewery Hard Root Beers
Seven batters not bunting
Six taken off of the Batter’s Eye
ALL THE RULE 5 DRAFTEES!
Four runs scored a game
Three bobblehead giveaways
Two All-Star Game selections
And an Opening Day shortstop not named Alexi

On the tenth day of Christmas
The Padres gave to me:
Ten Luigis lurking
Nine Padres on the field not making errors
Eight dollar Mission Brewery Hard Root Beers
Seven batters not bunting
Six taken off of the Batter’s Eye
ALL THE RULE 5 DRAFTEES!
Four runs scored a game
Three bobblehead giveaways
Two All-Star Game selections
And an Opening Day shortstop not named Alexi

On the eleventh day of Christmas
The Padres gave to me:
Eleven 2016 postseason wins
Ten Luigis lurking
Nine Padres on the field not making errors
Eight dollar Mission Brewery Hard Root Beers
Seven batters not bunting
Six taken off of the Batter’s Eye
ALL THE RULE 5 DRAFTEES!
Four runs scored a game
Three bobblehead giveaways
Two All-Star Game selections
And an Opening Day shortstop not named Alexi

On the twelfth day of Christmas
The Padres gave to me:
Twelve #ODHAUs
Eleven 2016 postseason wins
Ten Luigis lurking
Nine Padres on the field not making errors
Eight dollar Mission Brewery Hard Root Beers
Seven batters not bunting
Six taken off of the Batter’s Eye
ALL THE RULE 5 DRAFTEES!
Four runs scored a game
Three bobblehead giveaways
Two All-Star Game selections

And an Opening Day shortstop not named Alexi


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