When I first came up with an idea to write about the subject of slump busting, the Padres were neck-deep in an offensive funk that it seemed they would never come out of. So, I took to Twitter with what I thought would be a novel concept:
— Ghost of Ray Kroc (@GhostofRAK) May 9, 2014
That very night against the Miami Marlins and their ace, Jose Fernandez, the Friars seemingly came out of their shell, scoring 10 runs. Apparently, the Padres broke Fernandez. Just to be safe, I kept focus and was going to continue with the crowdsourced concept, because there was no way the Padres were going to be able to keep up the offensive output for a second straight day, right?
And then this happened Saturday night, 9 runs. The Padres scored 5 runs again on Sunday to make it a 3-game winning streak. Last night, they squeaked out a win against the Reds in Cincinnati on a ninth inning home run from Chase Headley to make it four-in-a-row.
So screw that idea. The answer was apparently “Just play the Marlins in San Diego.” I have no problem trashing an idea if it means the Padres are winning.
Then I realized that some of you might want to see what I had come up with, as well as a few submissions from our fellow Padres fans on Twitter.
Piss off Major Garrett, White House Correspondent for CBS News and Padres Fan
Okay, this actually happened a week before, and it didn’t help at all. But Darren Smith had Garrett on his show before Thursday’s game. And it was pretty awesome. Take 45 minutes out of your day and give it a listen.
Sacrifice a Live Chicken
Jose, the second baseman in Bull Durham, and Pedro Cerrano from Major League both mentioned this as a way to take curses off of various items; Jose’s glove and Cerrano’s bat, respectively. Maybe get Andrew Cashner to do the honors with his bow hunting skills, because you need to keep knives away from him anyway.
And, speaking of Cerrano…
Offer Up Rum and Cigars to Jobu
Then again, I suppose that didn’t actually work for Cerrano.
Wear Ladies Lingerie While Playing
Why not? Couldn’t hurt. Or could it?
A Few of Your Submissions
— Melissa Darnell (@11Darnell) May 9, 2014
— Tim Stoops (@timmer82) May 9, 2014
— Bryce Lane (@brycelane530) May 9, 2014
— Karl B. (@karlthelurker) May 9, 2014
— A Flores (@AFlores619) May 9, 2014
So, what did we learn?
Nothing. Nothing at all. And I’m okay with that.
I write something for Padres Public just about every week and usually on Wednesday morning. Since you’re likely already following me on Twitter, tell your friends, family, and well-wishers to follow me.