On last week’s #SDLive* on Fox Sports San Diego, UFC fighter Phil Davis was presented with a Padres hat in Pittsburgh Pirates colors. Davis lives and trains here in San Diego, but was born and raised in Pittsburgh, so the Pirates are his team. Someone at FSSD got the bright idea to combine the two for him.
*Don’t ask me why I was watching this show. I really don’t remember. I’m pretty sure I hadn’t had any beer that evening, so I wasn’t inebriated. Rest assured, I switched channels shortly after this hat showed up.
This segment (if you can call it that) did get me thinking:
What is the worst officially licensed San Diego Padres hat on the market today?
Last February, Vocal Minority David looked at bogus and bootleg jerseys. However hats are just as bad, if not worse. And they’re authorized by Major League Baseball! In many cases, these, um, things are sold on the official team store websites, if not in the stores themselves.
First up, I give you the 2014 Authentic Collection Clubhouse 39THIRTY Stretch Fit Cap by New Era, as sold on the Padres online shop.
What, exactly, is “authentic” about this thing? The bill looks purple!
Next up, we have the Dri-FIT Cooperstown True Snapback Adjustable Cap by Nike, again from the online shop.
That’s right! Bring back the…yellow? What?
The Mas Word Classic 39THIRTY Stretch Fit Cap by New Era is next.
Oof. So many problems.
Speaking of “oof,” I see these FlairHair Adjustable Visors by Concept One Accessories around Petco Park all the time.
Hey! Who says you can’t look like Guy Fieri while rooting for your Padres?
I do. Stop it already.
Don’t think the Padres and MLB have forgotten about you, ladies. You can get a Women’s Hello Kitty Adjustable Cap from the online store.
That’s right, Hello Kitty. It’s hard to see, but those are apparently Hello Kitty ears on top.
Here’s the New Era 5950 Fitted Hat – Black, Green, Red, Gold available from Hat Club.
C’mon, man. There’s nothing about this, other than the SD logo, that says “Padres.”
Next we have the New Era 5950 Fitted Hat – Camo from Hat Club.
It’s not even the same camo pattern on every panel. The only person who might be able to pull this look off is Andrew Cashner. That’s it. No one else. Don’t even bother trying.
And we also have the New Era 2Tone Fitted Hat – Heather Gray, Navy Blue, White from, you guessed it, Hat Club.
Hat Club has some horrible color combos in their stores, as well, which I’m pretty sure is where they got that black/yellow hat for Phil Davis.
Where do I start with this? It looks like a popsicle, for one thing.
Of course, all this is subjective. Some of you may like some of th–Hang on a second…
Oh, dear God.
We have a winner.
Just say NO to Dodger colored Padres hats. pic.twitter.com/0pXzJg5p4q
— Bobby Cressey (@Bobbycressey) March 11, 2014
I think we can all agree on that one.
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