2013 McRib Awards Presentation Ceremony and Spin-Off Showcase Spectacular

You have been waiting for 4 weeks to find out the winners of the 2013 McRib Awards and now your patience is finally going to be rewarded.

It’s been a long, drawn-out battle for some, and an absolutely laughable slaughter for others. But, the winners of the McRib Awards for 2013 are finally about to be revealed.

But, why the McRib Awards, Ghost? Why not name them after the Big Mac or Chicken McNuggets? Or even the Filet-O-Fish?

It’s simple. The McRib only comes out once a year, usually after baseball season is over. And people go absolutely nuts when they find out it’s going to be available.

Not that I think anybody is even going to remember these after a month. But, still…

Without further ado, I give you the recipients of the 2013 McRib Awards, as voted upon by you.

The MVM (Most Valuable Meme)

The Nominees

Drinking a Bear
Dress the Deer
That’s Baseball
Whiskey Deck
Why Not Kotsay?

And the McRib goes to…


How good is the Edinson Volquez Hat Angle Update as a meme? Jonah Keri selected it for his “The Grantland Dictionary: Baseball Edition” article on Grantland and says it’s one of the Top 10 Memes.

Congratulations, Edinson Volquez. At least you left us with something relatively positive to talk about.

Who am I kidding? No you didn’t!


You may notice that Deno received only one vote. As opposed to Norf, which came in a close second with 26. Which was nearly a quarter of the 106 total votes. This, of course, can mean only one thing:

Chris Denorfia’s nickname is now Norf.

The people have spoken. So it has been decided and so it shall be. Don’t like it? Well, more than one of you should have voted for Deno then.

All-Time (To Date) Favorite
Fox Sports San Diego Girl

The Nominees


And the McRib goes to…



This one was an upset of epic proportions. I was 100% positive it would be Nathalie who would get the most votes. But Katie jumped out to an early lead and never even bothered to look back. Guess you should never discount the power of Balboa Park buskers to rock the vote.

Now Katie can put winning a McRib Award on her résumé. Brie and Nathalie can fight to determine who comes in second.*

And Krista and Brittany will still be in protective custody.

*You ladies better Instagram that s**t if I can’t watch it in person. I’m not sayin’, I’m just sayin’.


2013 Eckstein-Owens Memorial
True Grit Award

The Nominees

Everth Cabrera
Andrew Cashner
Chris Denorfia
Jedd Gyorko
Mark Kotsay
Carlos Quentin
Will Venable
Edinson Volquez

And the McRib goes to…

Chris Denorfia

Norf takes it. Norf gonna Norf. You can’t Norf Norf, you can only Norf to Norf Norf.

I’m not renaming this the Norf Award, though. I have to draw the line somewhere.


That’s So Padres
Most Padres Moment of 2013

The Nominees

Carlos Quentin vs Zack Greinke: The Brawl That Started It All
Everth Cabrera comes up one hit short of the cycle, in 3 different games
Padres try hidden-ball trick against the Giants
Tim Lincecum throws a no-hitter in Petco Park
Andrew Cashner faces the minimum 27 batters…and doesn’t throw a no-hitter

And the McRib goes to…

Andrew Cashner


I voted for the failed hidden-ball trick, but that doesn’t matter. The people have spoken.

Reports that Cashner threatened to hunt down and kill anyone that didn’t vote for him have yet to be confirmed.



Well, that’s it. I’ve got nothing else to say.

Thank you all for voting in the first annual (maybe) McRib Awards.


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  • SDPads1

    And now I must go have another McRib today for lunch.

    • VM David

      No need to punish yourself.

  • Lonnie Brownell

    These results please me. Which is important.

    However, only the first table is sorted by votes received. Which confused me greatly, as the announced winners didn’t appear at the top of each list. Keeping us on our toes, eh?

    • It had something to do with putting them in random order in the voting. Only the first one was. The next 2 were alphabetical & the last was chronological. So…

      • Lonnie Brownell

        Wait…so the first one is in the random order presented in the poll, which ended up being in the vote tally order? That’s…spooky. But, then again, you are a ghost.

      • No, I set it up to show the answers randomly during voting. I didn’t do that with the other 3.

        I’m just as confused as you are as to why it didn’t show the results the same way.

  • Sac Bunt Melvin

    The true champion emerges in the face of awful billing on the ballot! USA! USA!

  • Dress the Deer received slightly less than 20% of the vote. The Mendoza Line of memes.

    • But much better than Deno & Deño. What’s the comp for a .010 & .000 average? The Moonlight Graham Line?