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Spring Training has sprung, so it’s just a matter of time before we find out about injuries that seem odd, weird, or flat out stupid.

We’ve already had Andrew Cashner get stabbed in the hand by his friend while cleaning a deer carcass in December. And that got me thinking about other Padres’ players who have managed to injure themselves in strange, asinine or even ironic ways.

Believe it…or not!

Adam Eaton

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The right-hander wound up in an emergency room in 2001 after stabbing himself in the gut while trying to open a DVD with a paring knife.

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I can sort of understand. Sometimes those DVDs are wrapped in plastic seemingly designed by NASA to protect astronauts from cosmic rays.

 

Akinori Otsuka

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Otsuka was nailed by a flying bat while signing autographs for fans before a game.

Reports of Otsuka drinking Jobu‘s rum right before the incident have never been confirmed.

 

Carlton Loewer

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Before Andrew Cashner had his little accident, there was Carlton Loewer, who was getting injured while hunting before it was cool.*

*It was never, and still isn’t, cool.

Loewer fell out of a deer blind in Louisiana on January 2, 2000, breaking his lower left leg and severely dislocating his ankle. He was hurt just two months after being obtained from Philadelphia.

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(Thanks to Rich for reminding me about this story.)

 

Chris Brown

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According to legend, the former Padres infielder once begged out of a minor league game while in the Giants organization because he said he’d strained his eyelid by “sleeping on it funny.”

Brown also reportedly missed a game because of a hangnail.

(I feel bad making fun of Brown. The man died in a house fire in 2006. After he drove an 18-wheel diesel truck in Iraq for Halliburton for a couple of years.)

 

David Wells

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Boomer said he lost his balance after kicking a 40-pound iron bar stool in 2004. According to Wells, when he fell he was holding a glass and cut his left hand and a tendon in his right wrist.

Gee… Wells and alcohol? Who’d a thunk it?

 

Dustin Moseley

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In 2011, Moseley dislocated his left shoulder swinging a bat and missed the last two months of the season.

Did I mention Moseley is a pitcher?

 

Greg A. Harris

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Suffered a strained elbow flipping sunflower seeds while sitting in the bullpen while with the Texas Rangers.

 

Jake Peavy

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Peavy cut his left hand while taking out the garbage in 2005.

Peavy also broke his rib on the field while celebrating the Padres winning the division in 2005. He tried to pitch in Game 1 of the Divisional Series, though. Bad idea. Peavy gave up eight runs, all earned, in 4 1/3 innings.

 

Jay Witasick

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“He was taking some bags of trash out,” Padres manager Bruce Bochy said. “They were heavy, had some watermelon in them, apparently. He tossed them into the dumpster and strained his elbow.”

Note to Padres players: Make your wife and/or girlfriend take out the trash. If they give you any lip, just refer them to this post.

(Just kidding. Make your kids do it.)

 

Kevin Mitchell

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Once strained a muscle while vomiting.

Also was hurt by a microwaved donut. Supposedly eating this led to his needing a root canal.

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Who microwaves a donut? Stick it under a heat lamp. If it’s good enough for a Big Mac…

 

Khalil Greene

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Greene broke the fifth metacarpal bone in his left hand punching a Petco Park storage cabinet after his 100th strikeout of the 2008 season. The injury caused Greene to miss the season’s last two months and nearly a third of the Padres’ remaining games that year.

 

Mat Latos

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Strained his side in 2010 holding back a sneeze, sending him to the 15-day DL.

This is still a controversial “injury” in Padres Fanland. Some believe the front office made it up just to give Latos a rest. A lot of good it did if true…

 

Matt “F**KIN’!” Bush

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I wasn’t sure if I wanted to include this one, but at the last minute decided I would. I think we all remember back in 2004, when the underage Bush got into a fight with security at a Peoria, AZ bar.

Four years later, only a block away from where the fight in 2004 took place, Bush got into another fight and reportedly was injured. While rehabbing from Tommy John surgery, no less.

Here’s an excerpt of the report from the Union-Tribune:

Padres minor leaguer Matt Bush, drafted first overall in 2004, recently was involved in an off-field fight in which he suffered bodily harm, according to persons close to him. It happened near a pub/grill in Peoria, Ariz., across from the Padres’ compound.

Padres farm system overseer Grady Fuson said Bush, 22, is still participating in workouts at the club’s training site.

 

Rickey Henderson

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While with the Toronto Blue Jays, Rickey once fell asleep on Rickey’s ice pack and Rickey got frostbite—which forced Rickey to miss three games—in mid-August.

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The Ghost still loves Rickey. Just Rickey being Rickey.

 

Tagg Bozied

 

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Is that Tom Garfinkel?

On July 19, 2004, Padres prospect Bozied ruptured a tendon in his knee while celebrating hitting a game-winning grand slam for the Portland Beavers.

 

Tony Gwynn

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Yes, even Mr. Padre wasn’t immune. He missed several games because he smashed his thumb in the door of his luxury car, on the way to the bank.

 

Many thanks to those who submitted ideas via  Twitter. Even those of you who submitted the obvious ones.

Any missing? What’s your favorite weird or stupid injury story? Doesn’t have to be a Padres player. But, please, no Jeff Kent falling while “washing his truck” stories. Kent was an* dumbass.

*a dumbass. I’m an dumbass.

And Chris Young getting nailed in the face by a come-backer from Albert Pujols doesn’t count either, you sick freaks.

Milton Bradley getting the smackdown laid on him by Bud Black while arguing a call at first base is, at best, a grey area.

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————–

Follow The Ghost on the Twitter, where he spends his waking hours championing the cause of getting McDonald’s to serve the McRib year round.

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  • VM David

    Phil Nevin’s “flu-like symptoms” for Sunday day games. Especially when Bret Boone was in town.

  • Why would anyone want a bar stool that heavy?

    • So when you kick it, it doesn’t move?

  • SDPads1

    Jack Palance owns Dean Cain

  • leila

    One of the few times Khalil really showed emotion, and…. I guess that’s why he didn’t very often. Poor guy.

  • The beauty of the Jeff Kent story, though, is that the public story was that he “fell down washing his truck”, when he had actually been doing wheelies on his bike, which had been forbidden in his contract.

    • Hence the quotes around “washing his truck” in the post.

  • Mike

    It’s “a” dumbass not “an” dumbass

    • Whoops! That originally said “an ass” and forgot to change it.

      Hope you like the “edit.”

  • Mike

    Love it