Since last week’s post garnered such a positive response, I decided to make this a weekly thing. I’ll just call it ‘Ramblings’ for now until I can think of something better. Suggestions are welcome! Let’s get into it.

  • Geez I didn’t think Gyorko would be phased out so early in the season, but here we are. Maybe if he were being benched in favor of a significantly better alternative I would understand, but it’s Yangervis fucking Solarte. If the Padres want to force Solarte into the lineup so badly then they should give him a shot at shortstop. It’s not like he’d be any worse than the goddamn stop sign they throw out there every night. Let Gyorko play everyday and leave him alone. “But he’s slumping!” Fuck you. Will Middlebrooks hasn’t been much better and people love that asshole. Gyorko’s also one of the Padres best defenders, but ssshhhhhhhhhh. Bat him seventh or whatever, but don’t bury him because he’s not an all-star yet.
  • Dale Thayer has something on his face I can only describe as regret and sorrow. He’s going for the Stan Rizzo look, and it’s just not working. That goes for all the mountain men wannabes. Show some decency for mankind and shave the facial pubes.
  • For as much as I trashed Cashner, he pitched really well against Arizona.
  • Speaking of Cashner, how much should we criticize him considering the personal (and very serious) issues he’s dealing with? David from Vocal Minority got me thinking about this, and I think being easier on Cashner (or at least not going nuclear when he does something stupid) is a good way to go. The same could be said for Dick Enberg. Sweeney is always fair game, though.
  • Justin Upton’s swing is pure sex. It’s like Prince and Baseball Jesus decided to bang and out came this miracle bestowed upon us. He’s hitting 50 this year. Write that shit in stone
  • Derek Norris is secretly a billionaire who kills people for sport in the offseason. That’s where his speed comes from. You think it’s easy playing The Most Dangerous Game? Fuck outta here.
  • Petco Park is a better pitching coach than Darren Balsley.
  • Bud Black knows less than Jon Snow.
  • Apparently there was some sort of rave or laser show at Petco Park last Saturday night after the win over the Giants. Padres ownership cashed in their food stamps and went to fucking town. Fowler strikes me as the eager one. The party’s not going anywhere, but he needs to take his shirt off RIGHT NOW. Dee is the wingman in charge of keeping everyone alive. Preller’s the weed guy. Seidler’s in bed watching Grey’s Anatomy.
  • Blocking anyone and everyone who puts the team’s record next to their name. Charger fans do that shit, and they’re the worst. Find another way to show your loyalty or whatever the hell you’re trying to prove.

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  • Robby Deming

    I’ll go ahead and disagree on Gyorko. He’s a black hole right now, and what’s worse, he seems to be coming up in higher pressure situations (e.g. men on base). That’s only magnifying his struggles. Dude has a 24 (!!) OPS+ right now.

    Middlebrooks is hitting OK (94 OPS+), but he mashed in the Spring and he’s one of the new toys. So he’s naturally going to get a longer leash. Jedd really hasn’t played himself into the lineup at the point.

  • Tom Waits

    I’m with Robby on this. Small sample size and all, Gyorko has looked horrible. His line drive % is half of Middlebrooks, and as for being one of the best defenders….how, exactly? He’s made a couple of nice plays and he’s missed some, too. I’m not trusting any defensive numbers this early (not many offensive ones, either), but Gyorko is failing in every subject. Add that to how bad he looked in the spring. Can’t blame Black for not waiting around. This team isn’t a juggernaut. Every win they can scrape out will matter.