Ramblings: AJ Preller Should Be In Prison

Hello there. How are you? I don’t care. Let’s ramble:

  • What in the fuck was AJ Preller wearing on draft day (night? whatever). Christ that was disgusting. I’m not gonna post it here, because I have fucking standards, but you know what I’m referring to. The hideous jacket with pants two sizes too big and shoes he stole from a hobo. This is a fucking BREAKFAST town, bro. SMH. And what the fuck was up with the creepy setup in an office Preller’s clearly never been in before? Is that where they buried Garf? Are the Moorad bobbleheads being kept there for safekeeping? ARE RON FOWLER’S FOOD STAMPS THERE? All valid and fair questions.
  • I’ve paid very little attention to the draft this year, and it’s all last year’s shitty shitty fucking terrible trash garbage fuckhead Padres’ team’s fault. Nice going assholes. You cost us a first rounder, and for what? Pride? HAHAHAHAHAHA. Pride, like Andrew Cashner, is overrated as fuck. Mostly, though, I blame Preller for not maiming every Padre that got hot after he was hired. The Rockstar GM could’ve prevented this, and he did nothing but watch as Will Venable and a bunch of randoms decided the most meaningless month of the season was the right time to not be trash.
  • YONDERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
  • Oh look Middlebrooks sucks again.
  • Speaking of Middlebrooks, Clint Barmes is a better hitter than him right now, which is fucking hilarious.
  • Frankly I don’t care who gets sent down or benched or forced onto the DL when Myers gets healthy, except for JUp <3. I’m not buying him playing second or third base, although with this org you never know.
  • I’ve accepted Jedd Gyorko’s probably a goner, and that’s a real shame. I’ve made my feelings known about Gyorko and, more importantly, Bud’s treatment of Gyorko. Nothing’s changed. He’s their best option at second base, and it’s not really close.
  • FSSD would find a way to defend Stannis Baratheon if he were a Padres employee.
  • Fuck Stannis Baratheon.
  • Oh you didn’t believe me about the truth bomb I dropped earlier on you about how Middlebrooks is more trash than Barmes? Fine. Middlebrooks OPS+: 92; Barmes: 94. Middlebrooks wRC+: 89; Barmes: 90. “But he’s barely better!” Fuck you I’m still right.
  • Bud running Derek Norris into the ground as Austin Hedges plays Angry Birds on his phone on the bench is pretty cool.
  • Another week of looking like a real baseball player for Matt Kemp!
  • Craig Kimbrel’s pitching just well enough to not make you think he’s point shaving.
  • RRRRRRRRRRR ALONSOOOOOOOOOOOO. Yonder’s definitely my favorite baseball player who can’t dress for shit and roots for a soccer club that is the equivalent of herpes. Still, as long as he gets on base I’m fine with him being our first baseman. Hey you could do worse there, like Brad Hawpe or Anthony Rizzo.
  • The Brandon Morrow news sucks. It was the most predictable injury, but it’s never cool to see a guy go down, especially after he pitched so well. There’s pretty much no starting pitching depth now, so we have to hope everyone stays healthy the rest of the season. We’re fucked.
  • I probably won’t be tweeting much over the next couple of weeks/months. I’ll do my best to have one of these posts up every week. Go Cavs.

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