Andrew Cashner, Dressed The Deer!

Jason Marquis took the bump on a windy Los Angeles evening and absolutely stuck it to the Dodgers. I make it sound like it happened long ago, in another time, another place, but it was actually last night. Man does it feel weird to type those words.

Jason Marquis was great last night. He struck out 5, gave up 3 hits, and only walked 1 batter while (perhaps most importantly) pitching into the 8th inning. He even retired the order 1-2-3 in the 1st inning which I don’t think had happened yet in 2013.

After making it through two outs in the 8th, Marquis gave way to Andrew Cashner who needed 67 pitches (7 actually) to retire Mark Ellis on a long fly ball to LF. And that’s what this is really about. It’s about Andrew Cashner and his ability to pump fastballs at high speeds. It’s about Andrew Cashner making things exciting, but also interesting (in a bad way). It’s about Andrew Cashner dressing the deer.

In the interest of full disclosure, I was drinking last night. So all of this made sense to me in the moment. Today? Eh, I think it still does.

What could I possible mean here?

After finishing a 22 of Victory at Sea and then tapping into a 22 of Stone IPA I began to equate Andrew Cashner’s work on the mound with that of a hunter in the field with his kill – both actions being primal, and above all else, fucking messy. The fact that Andrew Cashner is a hunter who nearly had his thumb chopped off while dressing a deer during the winter seemed to make the connection apropos.

After throwing 7 pitches to get out of the 8th inning, Cashner needed 31 pitches in the 9th. Cash walked 3 including 1 while the bases were loaded. I mean, he walked freakin’ Nick Punto with the bases loaded!

In addition to the three walks he also gave up a lead-off single to Jerry Hairston. Jerry freakin’ Hairston!

It was brutal. It was messy. But man was it exciting.

Cashner had already struck out AJ Ellis, and as I continued to drink, he pushed Luis Cruz to a 2-2 count and then . . .

A strikeout to end the game!

What an awesomely horrific ending to a lopsided game in LA. Dressing the Deer, indeed.

As I finished the last drops of ale I determined that this moment needed to be commemorated with a photo-shop. I emailed the Ghost of Ray Kroc and demanded funny pictures and within moments this arrived via e-mail . . .

cashnerdeer

When Andrew Cashner enters games and does his whole, 100-MPH-strikeout-WALK-shitshow-bonanza I shall always refer to it as Dressed The Deer. Good (DRESSED THE DEER!!!) or bad (Man he really dressed the deer, there) this is the year for Dressed The Deer.

 I contribute to Padres Public on Thursday mornings and when I’m feeling particularly inspired. I can also be found on twitter at @AvengingJM where I offer disconnect, 7 days a week.

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  • Axion

    wanna meet that deer

  • Some day you dress the deer, some days the deer dresses you.

    That, and 44 ounces to freedom.