A Trip to the Restroom at AT&T Park

Originally published last August, this story chronicles a trip to the restroom at San Francisco’s AT&T Park during Cory Luebke‘s final start before elbow surgery.

Three days in a city like San Francisco while watching three baseball games yields so much rich detail that it’s nearly impossible to write about the entire experience. Here’s a very short story about a trip to the bathroom during game 1 of the series.

The Padres had the lead as Cory Luebke held the Giants in check on an extremely cold Friday evening in the Bay. This would be Luebke’s last game before discovering a torn ulnar collateral ligament. But that’s not what made me have to pee.

It was late in the game and the Padres held a slim lead. As the night wore on the temperature dropped and a biting wind emanating from the Bay assaulted all those who left skin exposed. By this point, a day of drinking in the city had finally caught up with me.

The closest restroom to our seats in center field required me to exit the section, walk 20 yards past the Anchor Steam beer bonanza, and then down a long set of stairs. As I reached the bottom of the stairs I turned left and came upon a rookery of Giants fans.

They collectively stared, confused by the misplaced minority in Padres gear. Only one within the group had the temerity to address my presence, though. He was thin and stood about 6′ 4″ tall.

As he primed himself to speak he made a face — a mocking upside down smile, puffing out a pouty lower lip. Then from his mouth came this question:

“Awwww . . . did someone lose a bet?”

I did not take a picture of the 6’4″ Giants fan but this is how he had dressed himself when he decided to indict my fanhood.

I smiled and thought to myself, “Yes. Yes. It is I who lost the bet. I lost. Me. I’m the loser.”

But I didn’t need to say a word – his appearance was satisfaction enough.

I continued on my way to the AT&T Park commode basking in the glow of not only a Padres lead that would eventually bring a victory but the knowledge that I have a wife who would never let me leave the house looking like that particular Giants fan.

AT&T Park


I contribute to Padres Public on Thursday mornings and when I’m feeling particularly inspired. I can also be found on twitter at @AvengingJM where I set my eyes on 2014, 7 days a week. The dusty archives are located at avengingjm.blogspot.com

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